15 September, 2005

Project Death Spiral: the customer is always irrelevant

Our long-suffering business analyst (technically he's only been suffering for about six weeks, but it feels longer for him. And he's only halfway through his contract here) has been given further instructions from PMv1 to alter the Request For Quote he's written up for the software Death Spiral needed before it started.

"I'm not happy. You've made too many requirements 'Mandatory'. Make them 'Highly Desirable' instead, so we're not locked into buying something that does what we need it to do."

"These are the needs the stakeholders have identified. I've gone through it with them several times to make sure we're not asking for specifications we don't need."

"Don't care. Get rid of the 'Mandatory' stuff."

So our BA does as he's told - PMv1 is his boss, and it never pays to argue with a sociopath.

And once we've had all the obligatory talk-fests to rehash everything that the stakeholders have already been consulted on, we can then (maybe, depending on how PMv1 interprets the entrails of a sacrificial goat) go out to market for a product that doesn't actually need to do any of the things we need it for in the first place.

Sluggo may be gone, but Death Spiral continues unabated.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to tell you I've been reading since Cow-orker days, too. I don't know who matches my office more often: you or Dilbert.