Tech support begins at home

"I can't edit this web page. Each time I double-click on it, it opens in my web browser."

"Try right-clicking on it instead of double-clicking."

 - click-click - 

"It still opens in the browser."

 - click-click - click-click - 

"No, right-click."

 - click-click - 

"I don't understand."

"Don't double-click on it. Use the mouse button on the right. Once."

 - click-click - 

"It's broken. Each time I do it brings something up and then it disappears again before I can read it."

 - click-click - 

"Just click on it once."

 - click-click - 

"Once!"

 - click - 

"It's not doing anything."

 - click-click - 

"Now it's opened in the browser again!"

"Did you use the right mouse button?"

"Yes!"

 - click -

"... no. Now it's showing me a list of things. I haven't seen these before. What do I do?"

"You wanted to edit the file, right?"

"Yes."

"So select 'Edit' from the menu it's showing."

"I don't see it."

"..."

"Oh, wait. Now I can edit these files!"

Which, honestly, is the last thing either the Stress Fiend or I wanted him to be able to do, but if The Invertebrate gives him enough rope at least I can hope he'll hang himself.