04 February, 2007

Accounting, Ted E.-style

One of the sources of stress for my manager over recent months has been the wild fluctuations in the money available in our sections accounts. Part of this was due to the money laundering that was taking place, and upper management helping themselves to our funds when they needed a little extra for other projects elsewhere, but both practices were more or less brought under control when upper management discovered they'd been found out.

But the fluctuations continued, and money continued to inexplicably drain away. Until yesterday...

We're looking at a new function in our tracking and purchasing system. Ted E. looks over my shoulder and points to an account number.

"That's wrong. It always keeps coming up with that number when I'm doing the accounts, and it's wrong."

Manager and 2iC look at each other. "Uh, that's our account name, Ted. It's been that for nearly eighteen months now."

"Oh, really? I've just been changing it so the money goes to these other accounts where I think it belongs."

"For eighteen months?"

"Well nobody told me..."

"Eighteen months, Ted! You thought there was a bug in the system for eighteen months and didn't say anything?"

"Welll ... it was just easier to do it this way and not tell anyone that I was siphoning money off to other accounts..."

11 comments:

klc said...

So every six months or so you just explode with stories eh. :)

Glad to have you back. Notice you have at least one reader who checks your site often enough to read them the day after you posted.

Anonymous said...

If Ted's such a thorn in your side - you might take a page from the BOfH's book & use this little "mistake" to your advantage. i.e. he may find himself "redundant"..

Anonymous said...

Glad your back, it seems to me that everytime you have trouble at your work then I get trouble at mine we have our very own Ted E so I know how the frustration can build I'm glad you can see the funny side it always helps me.

Argh said...

klc:

More like every six months the nagging guilt over not posting anything sends me trawling through my e-mail archives to recover the various rants that I know are in there somewhere even if I can't remember the exact details.

anonymous #1:

Ted's a thorn in everybody's side, but because my workplace (like my last couple) is a public service position, you have to do something unspeakably corrupt or embarrassingly incompetent by government standards before people can think of removing you.

And, I have to admit, I do enjoy watching other people struggling to deal with Ted E., so my day would undoubtedly be poorer for his absence.

anonymous #2:

The funny side is important. I only worry that someday I'll forget to come back from it and end up surrounded by Cow-orkers and Ted E.s because I've snapped and think it's all funny.

Anonymous said...

Or worse, you deliberately become a Cow-orker or a Ted E because you enjoy fucking with peoples minds...

Anonymous said...

Selfishly, I only wish that Guilt Reflex kicked in more often. Reading about one person's pain makes my own more tolerable. You are a one man lecture-therapist and I salute you for all the smiles you've crowbarred out of me in my own personal Hell...

Celia said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dr Irony said...

Is that spam or a comment on work stress?

maelorin said...

competence. the other white meat.

Argh said...

Or worse, you deliberately become a Cow-orker or a Ted E because you enjoy fucking with peoples minds...

I have a false tooth filled with cyanide for that day, should it come.

Argh said...

Dr Irony said...
Is that spam or a comment on work stress?

Hmm. I almost wish I'd left it there, now...