17 October, 2005

Cow-orker: the magic begins again

Haven't got a login to any PCs or the network yet, but that's okay - the Cow-orker didn't change her username or password in all the years I worked with her, and there's no reason to assume she's done so now, and ....

... I'm in!

[Full screen desktop wallpaper depicting The Spawn in all its naked glory]

I'm out!

(Fortunately she hasn't changed the username or password for the generic login, either, nor has she customised the desktop this time around).

The Cow-orker had a thing for pot plants in the office, and whenever one was moved to a new area or out of her direct sight she'd loom over the people nearest it and lecture them on how to take care of it. She'd follow this up with periodic checks to see how her fellow members of the vegetable kingdom were going, lecturing people again if they'd been remiss.

Then she went upstairs to Marketing and left behind the only remaining pot plant she'd still been able to consider hers (because the Marketing Shrew wouldn't let her have enough real estate to fit it in). When her replacement came on board she lectured him and made him promise to water it regularly and take care of it. He kind of did, and despite one or two brown leaves and the occasional bout of wilting when it went a fortnight without water, the plant survived her absence.

(I'd suspect the Cow-orker of slipping down sometimes when no-one was around and watering it, but it's out of character for her to do something inconspicuously).

Then I went away, she came back and so on.

Last week she decided the plant wasn't looking as good as it could have. Thankfully she didn't try talking to it, but she did decide that giving it some fertiliser was a good idea. And perhaps it even was.

What wasn't a good idea was just flinging handfuls of fertiliser powder straight onto the plant so that the powder coated its leaves and stems, and then just leaving it.

It looks like someone's napalmed it. There are only two leaves left, both of which are more brownish-black than green. They were the lucky ones. The rest simply burned black and died, before the poor plant was rushed outside and washed down to remove the rest of the powder before it withered the whole plant. The dead and blackened leaves were trimmed off by the Cow-orker's human workmate, and now the once-healthy pot plant consists of two half-burned leaves and a little over half-a-dozen green, decapitated stalks.

The Cow-orker: Agent Orange for the 21st Century.

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