29 June, 2005
No animals were harmed.
The staff canteen here has a choice of two kinds of pie - "meat" or "flavoured". The implications are disturbing no matter how you turn this around
Status Report
A Project Manager here doesn't actually manage the project. Instead they demand high-level status reports ("Don't tell me the details!") and insist on extra meetings when the schedule slips (which means preparing more reports, for which they don't want to hear the details).
The Project Team Leader is the poor unfortunate who gets to deal with the actual running of the project - managing resources, scope, activities etc. But because they're not officially called a Project Manager they're not allowed to talk to stakeholders without going through the Project Manager, who is supposed to act as the communication channel between the project and its stakeholders. I'm not allowed to be a project manager because I'm not part of the Project Management Office, but because I'm the one who'll be carrying on many of these tasks after the project ends, the Project Office hasn't quite worked out whether I'm allowed to talk to people or not.
What we have at the moment is an interim Project Manager, in place of the original PM who's had to concentrate on other work at the moment (while still acting as a kind of supervising PM). The interim PM is a contractor between projects - he was brought in to manage the creation of the disaster coordination centre, but came on after most of the budget had already been spent on a building with no IT infrastructure (apparently they didn't see the need for a project plan and simply ran amuck on construction until they ran out of cash. So the disaster part of that project seems to be working out okay). The interim PM is with us for another three weeks, I think, at which point we either get another PM, the original one comes back, or ... well, I don't know, really. I don't think anyone else does, either, at this point.
Because no new team leader has been appointed since the last one resigned, the interim PM and I have split the team leader responsibilities. I'm looking after day-to-day activities and am the nominal supervisor of the three temporary and one permanent staff member assigned to the project. The interim PM looks after the higher-level stuff and, because he's an official project manager, he's also allowed to talk to people outside of the project. In fact he more or less has to deal with the high-level stuff, because he has no background whatsoever in this field. And I'm still learning how this place operates.
It's a little bit like the blind leading the blind at times - I'm hoping we'll reach a one-eyed-man/Kingdom of the Blind equilibrium sometime soon, though. All we need to do is find the one-eyed man.
The Project Team Leader is the poor unfortunate who gets to deal with the actual running of the project - managing resources, scope, activities etc. But because they're not officially called a Project Manager they're not allowed to talk to stakeholders without going through the Project Manager, who is supposed to act as the communication channel between the project and its stakeholders. I'm not allowed to be a project manager because I'm not part of the Project Management Office, but because I'm the one who'll be carrying on many of these tasks after the project ends, the Project Office hasn't quite worked out whether I'm allowed to talk to people or not.
What we have at the moment is an interim Project Manager, in place of the original PM who's had to concentrate on other work at the moment (while still acting as a kind of supervising PM). The interim PM is a contractor between projects - he was brought in to manage the creation of the disaster coordination centre, but came on after most of the budget had already been spent on a building with no IT infrastructure (apparently they didn't see the need for a project plan and simply ran amuck on construction until they ran out of cash. So the disaster part of that project seems to be working out okay). The interim PM is with us for another three weeks, I think, at which point we either get another PM, the original one comes back, or ... well, I don't know, really. I don't think anyone else does, either, at this point.
Because no new team leader has been appointed since the last one resigned, the interim PM and I have split the team leader responsibilities. I'm looking after day-to-day activities and am the nominal supervisor of the three temporary and one permanent staff member assigned to the project. The interim PM looks after the higher-level stuff and, because he's an official project manager, he's also allowed to talk to people outside of the project. In fact he more or less has to deal with the high-level stuff, because he has no background whatsoever in this field. And I'm still learning how this place operates.
It's a little bit like the blind leading the blind at times - I'm hoping we'll reach a one-eyed-man/Kingdom of the Blind equilibrium sometime soon, though. All we need to do is find the one-eyed man.
28 June, 2005
Project Death Spiral: Attack of The Hutches
Yesterday morning the rest of the desks arrived for The Shed. We're not entirely sure why we need so many desks in here - current thought is divided between the Infinite Monkeys Theory, and the Project Office simply making sure they spend all their money before the end of the financial year. I suspect the latter, if only because the Infinite Monkeys scenario is too elegant a solution.
The original layout would have given a Workplace Health & Safety person a fit, with a little less than two feet of clearance in which to move between desks. Then again there's a lot of things about the The Shed that would do that. Like the fact that it's a deathtrap in the event of a fire, for instance.
We thought that was the end of it when we all went home yesterday. This morning we came in and discovered the Hutch Fairy had paid a visit overnight, arbitrarily gifting six lucky people with hutches to go on the desks. One of the desks has no-one sitting at it, another is only used intermittently, and the remaining four were given to a random selection of staff members. Other desks were ignored entirely. I have no hutch, for instance, although I've received several offers of one throughout the day.
The place looks even more like a mini-labyrinth than before, with the PMv2 now hidden from the world behind his hutch, and the remainder of The Shed's occupants now invisible from the doorway. PMv1 has been getting progressively more claustrophobic as the day's worn on (partly because he's protesting about the hutches by piling junk on top of his), but we've been ordered to leave the hutches alone and not try to move them elsewhere. The Project Office paid for these hutches, and we're damn well going to appreciate them.
Besides, we're told, the hutches are part of The Plan, and The Plan cannot be changed.
I fear the Project Office's plan.
The original layout would have given a Workplace Health & Safety person a fit, with a little less than two feet of clearance in which to move between desks. Then again there's a lot of things about the The Shed that would do that. Like the fact that it's a deathtrap in the event of a fire, for instance.
We thought that was the end of it when we all went home yesterday. This morning we came in and discovered the Hutch Fairy had paid a visit overnight, arbitrarily gifting six lucky people with hutches to go on the desks. One of the desks has no-one sitting at it, another is only used intermittently, and the remaining four were given to a random selection of staff members. Other desks were ignored entirely. I have no hutch, for instance, although I've received several offers of one throughout the day.
The place looks even more like a mini-labyrinth than before, with the PMv2 now hidden from the world behind his hutch, and the remainder of The Shed's occupants now invisible from the doorway. PMv1 has been getting progressively more claustrophobic as the day's worn on (partly because he's protesting about the hutches by piling junk on top of his), but we've been ordered to leave the hutches alone and not try to move them elsewhere. The Project Office paid for these hutches, and we're damn well going to appreciate them.
Besides, we're told, the hutches are part of The Plan, and The Plan cannot be changed.
I fear the Project Office's plan.
27 June, 2005
Project Death Spiral
There's a meeting this afternoon for the eight-member Project Death Spiral Steering Committee. I see we're booked into a room with seating capacity for six, three of whom will be delivering reports.
It's been a while since I've seen such blatant Applied Cynicism.
It's been a while since I've seen such blatant Applied Cynicism.
22 June, 2005
And the three temps have pointed out that their contracts expire today... The team leader had been trying to get them extended for another 12 weeks, but no-one from the Project Office would confirm for him whether this was going to happen or not.
The Shed could be a very quiet place in the very near future...
The Shed could be a very quiet place in the very near future...
The lesser of two weevils
I've been asked what's worse: the Cow-orker, or Project Death Spiral.
And I think I have to answer: Project Death Spiral.
I know, I know, it sounds difficult to believe. But the only saving grace I can see for the project is that it's short-term (although not as short-term as it was apparently predicted to be). But while the Cow-orker seemed to have the capacity to go on forever, she wasn't as actively malicious, vindictive or unethical in the way that the project culture here seems to be.
t's possible that pain has dulled the pain somewhat - it has been several months since I had to work with her full-time in close proximity. But most of the time she really was just in a state of berserker stupidity and had no real sense of what she was doing to the people around her.
Kind of like having Godzilla in the next cubicle.
And I think I have to answer: Project Death Spiral.
I know, I know, it sounds difficult to believe. But the only saving grace I can see for the project is that it's short-term (although not as short-term as it was apparently predicted to be). But while the Cow-orker seemed to have the capacity to go on forever, she wasn't as actively malicious, vindictive or unethical in the way that the project culture here seems to be.
t's possible that pain has dulled the pain somewhat - it has been several months since I had to work with her full-time in close proximity. But most of the time she really was just in a state of berserker stupidity and had no real sense of what she was doing to the people around her.
Kind of like having Godzilla in the next cubicle.
21 June, 2005
Gah.
Well, that was really unpleasant... Just attended another bloody meeting with the past and present project managers (PMv1 and PMv2, for future references) and it seemed like every second comment on the status of the project was aimed at the departed team leader to affirm his evil and disruptive influence on the project.
Who could have known that the first six months of the project when most of the schedule slippage occurred was really such a golden age of achievement and direction? Maybe this is one of the hidden perks of being full-time staff (like the first team leader) rather than a contractor (like the second).
On the plus side, this seems to imply there's a realistic chance I can make a complete mess of things and get away with it as long as I smile nicely at people while I'm at it.
Who could have known that the first six months of the project when most of the schedule slippage occurred was really such a golden age of achievement and direction? Maybe this is one of the hidden perks of being full-time staff (like the first team leader) rather than a contractor (like the second).
On the plus side, this seems to imply there's a realistic chance I can make a complete mess of things and get away with it as long as I smile nicely at people while I'm at it.
Project Death Spiral latest
And after the latest round of meetings, I'm now the new team leader for Project Death Spiral.
But no-one's calling me that officially because the project has lost the last two people to hold that title.
And, possibly, because they might then have to pay me more money. As it is, the Project Office are pre-emptively citing the infamous "other duties as required" clause, and arguing that "this is the kind of thing you might be doing when you're job actually starts".
But no-one's calling me that officially because the project has lost the last two people to hold that title.
And, possibly, because they might then have to pay me more money. As it is, the Project Office are pre-emptively citing the infamous "other duties as required" clause, and arguing that "this is the kind of thing you might be doing when you're job actually starts".
Reviewing the situation
I have to confess that I'm developing a few reservations about staying here long-term after the last couple of weeks after watching recent efforts to make the departing Project Team Leader take the blame for things that were going wrong months before he was even hired.
Leaving aside the ethics of the situation, common sense would suggest that if you're going to start including "prepare scapegoat" as a project objective, you should at least be more subtle than asking someone to commit to completing in two weeks an activity that was originally scheduled to take 82 days. Otherwise the person you're trying to scapegoat may start getting suspicious.
It's been suggested that the people in charge are either untrained or just plain daft.
My money's on daft. All the Project Office people I've spoken to seem to have a reasonably good idea of what they should be doing (and an even clearer idea of what everyone else should be doing), but they seem happier working in a culture where they get to call all the shots without taking any personal responsibility (which tends to lend weight to the idea that "people" actually encompasses both actual humans and bald apes with a talent for mimicry).
Leaving aside the ethics of the situation, common sense would suggest that if you're going to start including "prepare scapegoat" as a project objective, you should at least be more subtle than asking someone to commit to completing in two weeks an activity that was originally scheduled to take 82 days. Otherwise the person you're trying to scapegoat may start getting suspicious.
It's been suggested that the people in charge are either untrained or just plain daft.
My money's on daft. All the Project Office people I've spoken to seem to have a reasonably good idea of what they should be doing (and an even clearer idea of what everyone else should be doing), but they seem happier working in a culture where they get to call all the shots without taking any personal responsibility (which tends to lend weight to the idea that "people" actually encompasses both actual humans and bald apes with a talent for mimicry).
Project Death Spiral continues
And the three temps have pointed out that their contracts expire today. The team leader had been trying to get them extended for another 12 weeks, but no-one from the Project Office would confirm for him whether this was going to happen or not.
The Shed could be a very quiet place in the very near future.
The Shed could be a very quiet place in the very near future.
Not completely surprising...
The project team leader has just given two weeks' notice in response to moves towards making him the official scapegoat for things that happened before he came on to the project.
Excrement, meet Fan...
17 June, 2005
Welcome to Project Death Spiral
Perhaps it was a little premature of me to be joking about the Team Leader looking wild-eyed earlier this week. Having spent most of the day being asked to justify everything he does (and why everything that happens on the project takes time rather than being willed into existence instantly), the last straw seemed to come late this afternoon when he was asked to justify a meeting with the organisation's designated software supplier. He's now decided to adhere rigidly to the job description he was contracted to do, rather than continue to go above and beyond in getting the project back on the schedule it had slipped from before he came on the scene and for which he's being continually asked to account.
It would be an exaggeration to say that people are already hunting for a scapegoat, but it certainly makes the previous project manager's question earlier this week ("Could I carry the project through to its conclusion, or would I need a project manager to do that?") seem even more ominous than it did at the time.
Things had actually seemed slightly encouraging yesterday when I met the new project manager and found him willing to take a more hands-on approach than his predecessor. He also seemed interested in moving away from the traditional City Council definition of a project manager (i.e. someone who fills the PHB role in a project) and towards the conventional sense where he actually manages the project.
Despite that, his efforts to make sure the team leader doesn't overstep his bounds by actually talking directly to people and therby breaking the chain of command are a little worrisome.
Should be interesting to see what the climate's like come Monday.
It would be an exaggeration to say that people are already hunting for a scapegoat, but it certainly makes the previous project manager's question earlier this week ("Could I carry the project through to its conclusion, or would I need a project manager to do that?") seem even more ominous than it did at the time.
Things had actually seemed slightly encouraging yesterday when I met the new project manager and found him willing to take a more hands-on approach than his predecessor. He also seemed interested in moving away from the traditional City Council definition of a project manager (i.e. someone who fills the PHB role in a project) and towards the conventional sense where he actually manages the project.
Despite that, his efforts to make sure the team leader doesn't overstep his bounds by actually talking directly to people and therby breaking the chain of command are a little worrisome.
Should be interesting to see what the climate's like come Monday.
16 June, 2005
The server rooms in the basement are actually below the flood level of the river that runs fifty metres from our door.
This came to light when people were investigating the recent flooding of the basement caused when The Shed was finally connected to running water. The water supply for The Shed's sink was connected to the baement's decommissioned fire-sprinkler system, which hadn't been closed off properly. When water was finally supplied to The Shed, water was also supplied in firehose quantities to the basement.
Much kicking and covering of butts is now occurring in the main building.
This came to light when people were investigating the recent flooding of the basement caused when The Shed was finally connected to running water. The water supply for The Shed's sink was connected to the baement's decommissioned fire-sprinkler system, which hadn't been closed off properly. When water was finally supplied to The Shed, water was also supplied in firehose quantities to the basement.
Much kicking and covering of butts is now occurring in the main building.
Abandon ship
The Project Manager abandoned us today and a new one took his place. With the flight of the original Project Team Leader several weeks ago, this now means that the people who've been on this project the longest are the three temps who started in March. In fact getting anyone to stick around the project for any length of time seems to be a real challenge.
Come to think of it, the current Team Leader has been looking a little wild-eyed lately...
Come to think of it, the current Team Leader has been looking a little wild-eyed lately...
Should sound familiar to a few people
The Project Team Leader and I express some dissatisfaction about a couple of the local systems. The response: "Don't knock it until you've spent six million dollars trying to get it to work."
09 June, 2005
Win some, lose some
Less than a week ago we managed to get approval to have a lock installed on the single office in The Shed so that we could store documents securely without constantly having to go in and out of the main building all the time.
Today workmen came in and removed the office's walls and door.
Today workmen came in and removed the office's walls and door.
08 June, 2005
Hate Mail
The Cow-orker news has just been broken to my workmates and the first hate-mail has hit my Inbox.
07 June, 2005
Shifting goalposts
Talk about moving the goalposts. The Project Team Leader and I just had a meeting with the Project Manager (who has the annoying habit of insisting that he doesn't want to hear about the fine detail, even though most of the questions he's asking hinge on the fine detail we're struggling with) and he managed to undercut much of what the two of us see as being the critical issues. Annoyingly, he's also expecting us to know about decisions that were made prior to either of us joining the project that no-one's actually relayed to us.
More annoyingly still, I've been on the project for two weeks, the PTL has been on for only three weeks longer than that, and we're the ones being asked to explain why a project that's been running since mid-late last year is running one month behind schedule. And (like a bad Dilbert strip) we have to increase the frequency of meetings and status reports to ensure that the project is able to get back on schedule.
As we talk to more people throughout the day, it becomes increasingly clear that the Project Manager has been giving very selective information to a lot of people, so that no-one quite knows the status of anything. Clearly he's practising a divide-and-conquer strategy, but it's not quite clear who he's trying to conquer.
More annoyingly still, I've been on the project for two weeks, the PTL has been on for only three weeks longer than that, and we're the ones being asked to explain why a project that's been running since mid-late last year is running one month behind schedule. And (like a bad Dilbert strip) we have to increase the frequency of meetings and status reports to ensure that the project is able to get back on schedule.
As we talk to more people throughout the day, it becomes increasingly clear that the Project Manager has been giving very selective information to a lot of people, so that no-one quite knows the status of anything. Clearly he's practising a divide-and-conquer strategy, but it's not quite clear who he's trying to conquer.
06 June, 2005
No going back now.
Just had an e-mail from the original Cow-orker. Rather than summarise, here it is:
My bridges with my old job haven't been burned so much as subjected to orbital bombardment.
You're not going to believe what has happened here. I went to see [current section head] on Friday morning about some details for the wireless launch that's haooeneing tomorrow ... and she had [the Crazy Man] in her office. Turns out the reason [the Crazy Man] took so long to advertise your position is that apparently despite [previous section head's] promises to me my current job has been classified at a 4 [a lower pay level].
Although it's a safe guess this is simply the lifeline the Crazy Man has latched onto to justify not having done anything about replacing me in the last six weeks. Especially as he's been heard saying that he didn't want the Cow-orker back under him.
They think they might be able to push it to a 5 [not quote as low a level, but still lower than what she's getting now] and [the Crazy Man] wanted to give me the option of going back.
Mr Path-of-Least-Resistance strikes again.
They both dropped this on me at about 11.30am on Friday, Seemed to me that I didn't really have much of a choice. I mean I'm a 6 (which I keep if I go back) or I can choose to apply for the new job (ie. I might not get it) and take the possible 5.
The Marketing Shrew doesn't like working with the Cow-orker, largely because the Cow-orker keeps wanting to do things and has ideas. Ideas upset the Marketing Shrew's way of doing things which, historically, has been to smile nicely, wear low-cut dresses and take the credit for everything.
It was a no brainer from my point of view.
Yes, well, it wouldn't be the first time that phrase has been used in conjunction with the Cow-orker's decision-making abilities...
So, I'm now officially back in [my old unit]. I'm thinking I'm kinda lucky you got that job now.
I wonder if my former workmates will share her point of view. One of their great fears when I left was that she'd return...
Funny how life works isn't it.
Hysterical. I wish I could see everyone's faces when they learn she's coming back down from Marketing.
My bridges with my old job haven't been burned so much as subjected to orbital bombardment.
02 June, 2005
The Coup
The Project Office has siezed control of all the sheds, which came as a surprise to my section, who were planning on using my project's new shed to house some of their staff while their area inside the main building was being refurbished.
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