Hysterical Revisionism

No, you idiot. When I tell you that someone didn't speak to me about something, that means they didn't speak to me about something. Just because you saw me talking to them three days ago doesn't mean I was talking to them about the one thing that's rattling around in your empty skull at the moment.

Printing off a piece of paper about the thing you think I must have been talking out and waving it at me as documentary evidence will not magically rewrite the past and cause me to suddenly admit that yes, that's exactly what happened and I've just been lying about it all along.