16 May, 2006

Cow-orker: medical histories

The Spawn has a dental appointment after a checkup revealed it needed a vast amount of fillings. Despite The Spawn's sugar-rich diet, the Cow-orker seems surprised and has been on the phone to the dentist for the last fifteen minutes.

So far the hapless dentist has been advised that The Spawn is an "exceptionally perceptive" child, and that the dentist shouldn't make the mistake of treating the wunderkind like any normal five-year old. Apparently comforting lies are okay, however, as the Cow-orker has been telling The Spawn that having half-a-dozen fillings won't hurt and she won't feel a thing. The trouble is, she's just discovered from talking to the dentist that it will, in fact, hurt (anaesthetic needles still being needles, after all) and is trying to get the dentist to give her a way out of the situation.

Exactly how she expects this to work is unclear.

In a flashback to the memorable day when the Cow-orker told me her mother once had a tooth growing out her nose, the dentist has also been treated to an extended discussion of the Cow-orker's teeth, her family's teeth, and those of The Spouse and his whole family.

(It seems his family suffers from a hillbilly-like congenital defect that leads to broken, missing and discoloured teeth. Alternatively it could just be that they are hillbillies, and simply drink and smoke to excess and rot their teeth in their heads. Or maybe it's something to do with the aliens that have been hanging around their backyard.)

Eventually the phone call reaches its point. I think. It seems that the Cow-orker is less concerned with The Spawn's dental welfare than with establishing a plan of attack for when The Spawn realises Mummy & Daddy lied about the dentist not hurting. The plan she's aiming for is to have the dentist accept all the blame for the lies.

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