Hot off the phone to the dentist, the Cow-orker is wondering why a client is giving her grief for giving him instructions for installing software that can't possibly work on his computer.
I try to explain to her the reason the instructions she's given him can't possibly work on his computer: she knows he's using a Mac, yet she keeps giving him instructions for installing the software under Windows with the advice that "but this is how it works under Windows!" and is struggling to grasp why he doesn't find this helpful. Because his response ("This won't work for me because it doesn't work this way on a Mac") isn't enough of a hint.
She's dismissed him as being too much of a pain to deal with, and has gone to morning tea to de-stress from the whole situation.
16 May, 2006
Cow-orker: medical histories
The Spawn has a dental appointment after a checkup revealed it needed a vast amount of fillings. Despite The Spawn's sugar-rich diet, the Cow-orker seems surprised and has been on the phone to the dentist for the last fifteen minutes.
So far the hapless dentist has been advised that The Spawn is an "exceptionally perceptive" child, and that the dentist shouldn't make the mistake of treating the wunderkind like any normal five-year old. Apparently comforting lies are okay, however, as the Cow-orker has been telling The Spawn that having half-a-dozen fillings won't hurt and she won't feel a thing. The trouble is, she's just discovered from talking to the dentist that it will, in fact, hurt (anaesthetic needles still being needles, after all) and is trying to get the dentist to give her a way out of the situation.
Exactly how she expects this to work is unclear.
In a flashback to the memorable day when the Cow-orker told me her mother once had a tooth growing out her nose, the dentist has also been treated to an extended discussion of the Cow-orker's teeth, her family's teeth, and those of The Spouse and his whole family.
(It seems his family suffers from a hillbilly-like congenital defect that leads to broken, missing and discoloured teeth. Alternatively it could just be that they are hillbillies, and simply drink and smoke to excess and rot their teeth in their heads. Or maybe it's something to do with the aliens that have been hanging around their backyard.)
Eventually the phone call reaches its point. I think. It seems that the Cow-orker is less concerned with The Spawn's dental welfare than with establishing a plan of attack for when The Spawn realises Mummy & Daddy lied about the dentist not hurting. The plan she's aiming for is to have the dentist accept all the blame for the lies.
So far the hapless dentist has been advised that The Spawn is an "exceptionally perceptive" child, and that the dentist shouldn't make the mistake of treating the wunderkind like any normal five-year old. Apparently comforting lies are okay, however, as the Cow-orker has been telling The Spawn that having half-a-dozen fillings won't hurt and she won't feel a thing. The trouble is, she's just discovered from talking to the dentist that it will, in fact, hurt (anaesthetic needles still being needles, after all) and is trying to get the dentist to give her a way out of the situation.
Exactly how she expects this to work is unclear.
In a flashback to the memorable day when the Cow-orker told me her mother once had a tooth growing out her nose, the dentist has also been treated to an extended discussion of the Cow-orker's teeth, her family's teeth, and those of The Spouse and his whole family.
(It seems his family suffers from a hillbilly-like congenital defect that leads to broken, missing and discoloured teeth. Alternatively it could just be that they are hillbillies, and simply drink and smoke to excess and rot their teeth in their heads. Or maybe it's something to do with the aliens that have been hanging around their backyard.)
Eventually the phone call reaches its point. I think. It seems that the Cow-orker is less concerned with The Spawn's dental welfare than with establishing a plan of attack for when The Spawn realises Mummy & Daddy lied about the dentist not hurting. The plan she's aiming for is to have the dentist accept all the blame for the lies.
01 May, 2006
Cow-orker: suffer the children
"Ohmygod ohmygod! The Spawn got in trouble at school for the same thing she did last week! What's wrong with this misbegotten child?"
And she leaps onto the phone to ring around her family and mobilise them so they can all unite in condemnation of The Spawn and impress on her what an awful child she is for acting like a five-year-old rather than the child prodigy she's supposed to be. (Because there's nothing like a consolidated effort at scarring a child for life to encourage good behaviour).
[And in the middle of all this, the Secondary Cow-orker is telling me all about her latest mobile phone plan and why she chose it. My eardrums are under siege from all sides.]
Listening to the Cow-orker bewailing having given birth to the Antichrist, it becomes very clear that she's actually scared of the hyper-intelligent Spawn and is frightened of having to deal with a childish temper tantrum.
You just know The Spawn is going to grow up to be a serial killer.
And she leaps onto the phone to ring around her family and mobilise them so they can all unite in condemnation of The Spawn and impress on her what an awful child she is for acting like a five-year-old rather than the child prodigy she's supposed to be. (Because there's nothing like a consolidated effort at scarring a child for life to encourage good behaviour).
[And in the middle of all this, the Secondary Cow-orker is telling me all about her latest mobile phone plan and why she chose it. My eardrums are under siege from all sides.]
Listening to the Cow-orker bewailing having given birth to the Antichrist, it becomes very clear that she's actually scared of the hyper-intelligent Spawn and is frightened of having to deal with a childish temper tantrum.
You just know The Spawn is going to grow up to be a serial killer.
Marketing strike again
"But this is terrible! All the prices we just mailed out to 7,000 new clients are wrong!"
"Why didn't you check the prices first?"
"Because this is what they were last year when we were buying them through a different supplier!"
The marketing manager then begins to panic and spin an elaborate story about how, in the past, the other supplier gave us a special price on these items at the start of each year, and maybe if the new supplier gives us the same special price that will help her cover up that she messed up majorly this time. Two problems with that, though: we didn't carry this stuff at all before last year, and the old supplier didn't do anything of the sort.
The marketing manager gibbers some more and tries to claim it's not her fault that she didn't check any of the information before she sent it out to people.
I think this may even be the first time I've actually seen someone think their way into a state of self-delusion aloud and in front of others... Even the Cow-orker tends to get by with making huge and painful leaps of Cow-orker logic inside her head.
"Why didn't you check the prices first?"
"Because this is what they were last year when we were buying them through a different supplier!"
The marketing manager then begins to panic and spin an elaborate story about how, in the past, the other supplier gave us a special price on these items at the start of each year, and maybe if the new supplier gives us the same special price that will help her cover up that she messed up majorly this time. Two problems with that, though: we didn't carry this stuff at all before last year, and the old supplier didn't do anything of the sort.
The marketing manager gibbers some more and tries to claim it's not her fault that she didn't check any of the information before she sent it out to people.
I think this may even be the first time I've actually seen someone think their way into a state of self-delusion aloud and in front of others... Even the Cow-orker tends to get by with making huge and painful leaps of Cow-orker logic inside her head.
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