06 February, 2012

Filling the vacant clown shoes

It's a Monday, and that can only mean one thing: another long weekend for the Stress Fiend! Presumably she just couldn't wait until this Friday, which she's already applied to have off. Although, to be fair, it's been a whole three weeks since her last Monday off, and before that it was a full week and a half since she decided to spontaneously extend her weekend by two days. And we haven't had a public holiday in, oh, nearly a fortnight, so I can certainly see how the poor dear might be feeling a bit overwrought and in need of a break again.

In other news, though, we're finally advertising externally for someone to fill Ted E.'s position after many bumblingly inept and inevitably doomed attempts to fill it internally. Of course it's also been advertised in typically over-blown and excessively-detailed fashion, so no-one's actually going to want to apply for a job that (apparently) demands so much and pays so little, so whether anyone actually applies for it remains to be seen.

No sooner had the ad been placed, however, than the Stress Fiend began fretting about the kind of person who might apply.

"What if we get someone useless?"

"More useless than Ted or La Mondaine?" Politeness dictates I not remind her that La Mondaine was all her fault. "The bar's been set pretty low. If they're capable of stringing a coherent application together in the first place, that already puts them well ahead of what we've had in the past."

"What if - and I know I'm being silly here - but what if..." and suddenly we reach the real source of her fear "What if they're better than me?"

And this isn't an unreasonable fear. It's why the Stress Fiend likes to operate in secrecy, and to obscure her tracks with crazed and arbitrary work practices. It's also why, a couple of years ago, the Stress Fiend allied herself with Ted against me and the one efficient, useful team member we've ever had - they were a threat, because not only could they do the Stress Fiend's job more effectively in half the time, they could see exactly what she was up to.

Fortunately for the Stress Fiend, the Invertebrate has already caved into her anxieties and allowed her to be on the selection panel, giving her ample opportunity to ensure we add yet another mutant to the organisational gene pool.


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