07 December, 2010

A fool even Mr T would struggle to pity

While we slowly drift towards not bringing La Mondaine in anymore, we've been finding work for her that keeps her away from touching any of our systems. At the moment this means we have her tidying up our storeroom, a task so simple even ... actually, no, that's not quite right. I was going to say even Ted could do it and, on a purely theoretical basis, he probably could. In practice, he'd lose interest after five minutes and either try to palm it off on someone else or begin throwing random items into the bin in protest at being asked to think about something.

Come to think of it, that's exactly what he started doing the last time he made a fuss about the state of the storeroom and it was pointed out there was nothing stopping him from doing something about it...

Anyway, La Mondaine is fumbling and panic-attacking her way through the storeroom. Yesterday she found a batch of duplicate items that came with useless obsolete bonus material and wanted to know if she should file the useless obsolete bonus material away.

"No," I tell her, "Just get rid of it all."

"All of it?"


"Just get rid of it all?"


"The useless obsolete bonus material, you mean?"


"You don't want to keep any of it?"

"No. No-one here has ever used it, it's not applicable to how anyone here actually works. Hence, 'useless' and 'obsolete'."

Today she comes across more of exactly the same material.

"What should I do with this? It's the same as the stuff you told me to get rid of yesterday."

"Uh, get rid of it?"

"But it's the same as yesterday's stuff. Are you sure?"


"Not even keep one copy?"

... which is almost enough to convinces me she's just doing this to provoke me. It's not just that no-one could really be this stupid: it's because we're not even in the realm of functional stupidity anymore. This is carrying some dreadful terminal illness and subtly begging to be euthanised before quality of life becomes a serious issue.


Anonymous said...


Is it over yet? Has Ted finally left the building? Will La Mondaine spring any surprises on the unwitting Argh? Does The Invertebrate have any more dastardly plans for introducing someone else of incompetence off the Richter scale into Our Hero's life in the name of science? Has The Stress Fiend finally breathed a sigh of relief?

All this and more answered, when Argh comes out of his coma. Yay!

Argh said...

Ted has indeed left the building, complete with farewell gifts paid for from our section's budget because The Invertebrate couldn't bring himself to ask anyone to contribute to a collection.

He's offset this bit of forethought, however, by deciding that we'll look for a Ted-replacement by dredging the depths of the organisation rather than looking outside.