Stupid *and* otherworldly

Somehow I managed to tune this out last week when it originally happened, but La Mondaine shared her secret to successful speed-reading: "It's easy. You just teach yourself to ignore the consonants."

The Stress Fiend related this gem to me. There was a couple of seconds' while I tried to imagine this in practice, followed by a good several minutes of helpless laughter and another hour of sudden, intermittent sniggering.

So with that in mind, I give you Hamlet , Act III, Scene 1 (the "To Be Or Not To Be" soliloquy) as interpreted by La Mondaine:

O e, o o o e--a i e eio:
ee 'i oe i e i o e
e i a ao o oaeo oe
O o ae a aai a ea o oe
A ooi e e. o ie, o ee--
o oe--a a ee o a e e
e eaae, a e oa aa o
a e i ei o. 'i a oaio
eo o e ie. o ie, o ee--
o ee--eae o ea: a, ee' e,
o i a ee o ea a ea a oe
e e ae e o i oa oi,
ie ae. ee' e ee
a ae aai o o o ie.
o o o ea e i a o o ie,
' oeo' o, e o a' oe
e a o eie oe, e a' ea,
e ioee o oie, a e
a aie ei o ' o ae,
e e ie i i ie ae
i a ae oi? o o ae ea,
o a ea e a ea ie,
a e ea o oei ae ea,
e ioee o, o oe o
o aee e, e e i,
A ae ae ea oe i e ae
a o oe a e o o o?
oiee oe ae oa o a,
A e aie e o eoio
I iie o'e i e ae a o o,
A eeie o ea i a oe
i i ea ei e a
A oe e ae o aio. -- o o o,
e ai Oeia! -- , i oio
e a i eeee.

If Cthulhu tried to yodel "Old MacDonald Had A Farm", this is what it would sound like.